Friday, May 11, 2012

The Benjamin Button in me

It is amazing how different phases in life bring with them their own epiphanies and highs. I write this relaxed, a tad reflective, breathing easy, aware of all my inhales and exhales. This also comes after reading a report in the newspaper this morning that young women are more driven about their careers now than before. They are postponing marriage and motherhood for their goals. Not to judge. But to say that life need not be lived in any one sequence. Especially by women?

I am 'in between' things now - sometimes a better way of saying 'I am out of a job' or 'I was downsized' or help 'I'm a loser waiting to be rescued' or some such life crisis. I quit my job of 4 years at a local NGO (working with children and families) and have embarked on an ambitious journey to study (full time, 2 years) and emerge at the other end hopefully, wiser and more intimidating!

What, study at 'this' age, is the average (horrified) reaction I get to this (or is it in my head - I can never tell). I know I will have course mates as old as my son, most of my teachers, I'm sure will be younger than me and alright I do forget names easily these days. But I must say, I have never been more clearer in my head and with that kind of clarity, I bet I can whoop some young asses in my class.

I think I am done with the harder parts of playing mother, of 'sacrificing my life' (never liked those words, still don't) for the Greater Good and being a stay at home mom for my two scruffy boys. My parenting these days is largely restricted to gently requesting them to shave and/or have a bath, now and then, if possible, only if they want to.....

So now for some serious space reclaiming.

There is something to be said about living life in the reverse. Its fun, rewarding and feels incredibly light. Its time to go over a few cliches, that noone ever believes. Age is just a number. You are as old as you believe you are. There is life after motherhood. And so on. But really Benjamin Button is not just a flippant notion, sister. Its there to be lived. And enjoyed.